Love Never Dies

We took a trip to wine country just before  Hardy passed. I didn't know it at the time, but it would be less than a month before my final goodbye to him. That goodbye would be weak too. It was so far from the way I had imagined. I don't think it was fair that he had to get killed by a pit bull. I will never let that go, I guess. 

 It's been four years later, and I still think he was the best dog ever. I still think about the way he left this world and how it changed  my life. Forever. I still believe he is someplace in the afterlife waiting for me to join him. Even though it will be a very long time from now.

Today was really fun though. I've become accustomed to making day trips without him - without any dogs for that matter. The replacements are home dogs. They don't like going anyplace with us. But I still love them. I can appreciate going places without the pets. It's fun too. 

It's fun to remember the good times with Hardy too.  I guess it's true that love really never dies.  

May

The wild pink clover is in bloom

The breeze kicks in and branches sway

Honeysuckle wafts her sweet perfume

Goslings swim and look for room

And sunshine keeps her vow to stay

Remembering Corinne, "...with one R, and two Ns."

"Do we have any of that mocha coffee stuff?" Brad asked.

I was just about to spread the frosting onto the triple chocolate cake I had baked the night before. I had made the decision to bake myself a cake for Mother's Day when I realized that I am always making this family recipe for people other than myself. I had also decided that I would make it with mocha frosting in honor of Brad's mom, since that was the way she would bake it. At least, that's the frosting she put in her personal family cookbook she gave to him back when we were in our 20s.

As I followed her hand typed instructions, and handed Brad the instant mocha, I thought about how mothers pass down family recipes. I remembered a time when we were younger, and she was still alive. She and my father-in-law had recently returned from a trip and we were making dinner for them at our home in Tacoma. I remember serving her ranch style veggie dip with an array of crisp, freshly sliced carrots, zucchini, mushrooms, and celery, when she spontaneously commented, "This tastes like home." 

It made me feel loved, that she felt at home before she was physically there. It was as if she was saying you are family, and I'm glad to be at your house. I had only been married to her son at that time for about a year, but I felt a part of the family that day. As daughters, we are always waiting for signs of approval from our moms, and she validated for me that above all, I had made her veggie dip as tasty as she would. And she was a great cook.

My fondest memory of her is at their country cottage in North Eastern Washington, at a place they called Skoog. It was Thanksgiving Day, and she had baked a turkey in the wood stove. I still marvel that she could bake with a wood stove! In any case, it was a storybook holiday, complete with a horse ride in the snow around their property. Brad's father took us out for about two hours riding over the frosted hills and through an icy creek before we got back inside to the scent of a perfectly baked turkey with all the fixins. 

I am so grateful that I moved away from my own family and close to her, back when she was in remission. I was really lucky to share that time near her home during her short life, as no one knew when the cancer would eventually win, which turned out to be about four years after that special Thanksgiving. Her life was too short! I only knew her for about 6 years. Today I pray that she continues to rest in peace, and that she feels the love and gratitude I feel today to have known and loved her.

Love Never Felt So Good

All the Michael Jackson fans will be excited to learn that there will be a new album titled Xscape, which will have 8 songs he recorded back in the day. The first song released from the album debuted this week on an MTV music award show. The song is titled, Love Never Felt So Good. It featured Usher and seemed to be received well. You be the judge...

http://youtu.be/GJNzKu_uLMs

Alamo Creek Canal

There was a strong easterly wind blowing hard yesterday afternoon as I pedaled from the mall towards home. I was not enjoying the push against my bicycle and me. When there is intense wind like that, I feel like a caped superhero pedaling towards a wind machine, so I try to distract myself by looking at what is going on around me. I had just passed the freeway underpass, and had stopped to rest underneath (taking a break more from the wind than being tired), when I noticed something astonishing. There were about twenty trout trying unsuccessfully to slink up the shallowest part of the canal water that was funneling downstream into them.

I marveled at how they squiggled towards the current, but even after watching for about 5 minutes, I did not see any of the fish succeed in getting upstream at that spot. In fact, they seemed a little tired of trying and many of them were content to school around in the deeper water near the underpass. Meanwhile, there was a lovely pair of Canada geese taking a bird bath in the same area, because they could stand in the water perfectly. They were stunning, as I watched them dip their heads below the surface and throw the water over their backs. The male beat his powerful wings in the wind, perhaps to dry himself as they waded there.

At some point, I decided to continue on my quest home. Dealing with about as much wind as I could stand, feeling the pressure of cycling in the same direction as the trout who were obviously migrating upstream. I wondered if it felt similar. I passed the library and looked off into the canal for a moment when a very large trout leaped out of the water as it tried to maneuver over a small waterfall, like I'd seen in a salmon migration documentary.

It was unsuccessful, but provided hope that the rest of the trout from downstream below would make it to wherever they would eventually spawn. By the time I reached my home, I promised myself to check on them again to see how far they had made it. Will they make it past the waterfall?

Ode to Birch Trees

We have two Birch trees in our back yard that need to be removed. They have simply grown too large for the space. They are encroaching on our neighbor's yard. They are really messy. They are also a rest stop for the Goldfinches that pass through every year. I swear. One of the hardest things to do in the garden is remove unwanted trees. Even as I wrote that it sounded like an oxymoron: unwanted trees.

But unwanted they are. 

Brad took out one of them, but the other bigger one is beyond his skill set.  So I made some phone calls. When the arborist I chose came over to assess the situation, he said, "Trees are like kids. When they're little they're small and cute, and they are fairly easy to take care of. Then they get big, and they make big messes, cause lots of problems, and become difficult to keep up with." 

I always say the best course, when tree removal is inevitable, is to plant another more appropriate tree in another place in the yard. In fact, I've already planted the two replacement trees, high on our hill.  They are California Sycamore trees that were started from seed back when I first began teaching over ten years ago. These trees are about 5 feet now, but they are growing fast. They will be excellent shade trees someday, and I look forward to that. In the meantime, I wish I could let go of the guilt I feel about removing these ones!

Gardening reminder: do not plant large growth trees too close to neighboring fences. 

Pair of Geese