Tough Love Neighborhood

Roxie at the Trail (check out her Angel's Eyes!)

 It happened again. I got charged by another dog while walking my Roxie on the way back to the house.  It happened just a few houses before the attack house. I wonder how much more of this I can take. I am so grateful for the panic pills. They really help me cope. At the same time, I hate having to rely on them to keep me sane. It's unfortunate, but it's true. Even more unfortunate is that my own dogs (Hardy, Chico, AND Roxie) have done the same thing from time to time. There are so many dog walkers who use our sidewalk to get to the beautiful trail near our house that sometimes when the garage door opens, a neighborhood dog, or our dogs, will charge the walkers who are peacefully strolling by. It happens both ways too. Sometimes it's our dogs that charge, and other times it's the sidewalker's dog charging us. I have to remind myself every time I open the garage door to put the dogs inside for the opening, and check the sidewalk to make sure it's safe.

Neighborhood Camping Jamboree

Exhausted Dad after Camping Night

This is the same neighborhood where just last weekend there was a neighborhood camping "jamboree" for families in the area. People came and pitched their tents in the park, gathered for some fun campy events, barbecued their food, and had donuts in the morning before packing their stuff away. When I walked around the neighborhood park on the wake up morning, I snapped a photo of the sweetness of it all. It was heartwarming. An interesting side note was that I didn't see many pooch campers in tow, nor did I bump into any bad dogs on my walk that morning or the evening prior. I had been feeling fairly safe and not so jumpy walking, but as usual, when I let my guard down for even an instant I usually get creamed. 

I have no willingness to fight back now. I dropped Roxie's leash, covered my face, and hurried away from the charging dog. I know I was moaning or something like that, and I was calling Roxie to follow me, but I don't remember feeling my feet as I moved away from the dog. It was a big black dog, and I've been charged by it before I lost Hardy, getting away unscathed. This time my response was visceral, and stemmed directly from the attack experience that took the life of my beloved doggie. Like the past experience with Big Black, Roxie and I came away unharmed, at least physically. But I couldn't keep my composure as I hurried to the safety of my home, where thankfully, my daughter was inside already home from work.

Eventually I had to relent and take a panic pill. I feel like a failure when I have to do that, like I can't cope and I'm addicted to drugs. The bottom line is that the pill works! Sometimes I search for the bigger picture of it all, and it came to me later because I had stopped during my walk to chat with a neighbor - both of us out burning fat at our trail. It was a brief and lovely conversation, and before we went our separate ways, I made it a point to thank her for her support this past year. She is someone who has continually checked in with me, and encourages me as I walk passed her house. I remember what she said to me on attack day, it was, "It could have easily been one of my children. We live right across the street from them." She was referring to the neighbors who owned the attack dog.

When I think about the purpose of this horrific event, I am comforted to know that it was NOT one of her children that day. Even though I had to give up my Hardy, I would do it again if I knew that was the reason for his death. I find solace in that thought. Perhaps Hardy saved not only my life, but also the life of a child.  That thought doesn't make my longing for him go away, because I still miss him, and I can't help wondering when these difficult events cross my path how we would have weathered them if he had survived.