People Understand

I saw a saying on the back of a tee shirt last week that read, "Strength is not giving up even when people would understand if you did." I had an encounter with a young lady who suffers from sickle cell complications that helped me see how this statement applied in my own life when I bumped into her this past week at the local grocery store. She was one of my daughter's best friends back in high school. I'll call her Zondra. 

We were both picking up necessary sustenance for dinner when I recognized her. Zondra gave me a warm hug, and remarked that she looked a mess. To me she looked as lovely as ever, and I told her so. After all, I have seen this young woman at her worst. That was several years ago, when I went with my daughter, Dawn, to visit Zondra in the hospital. She had been placed there because of yet another sickle cell crisis. That time it was her hip, and I can remember that she was in an enormous amount of pain. Eventually she had to undergo hip replacement surgery.

When I asked her about her hip, she had good things to report. I know, because of the disease, that it's only a matter of time before it's something else. I believe she does too, but I am always in awe over her incredibly great attitude. She never gives up. To me, she is the epitome of strength. She is also extremely kind and peaceful, always keeping her focus in the present moment. I think most people feel lucky when they are around her. She just has a way about her that makes one feel appreciative about life itself.

That day in the grocery store, I looked to Zondra for some encouragement about my relationship with Dawn; we've had a huge parting of ways. I believe I can count on one hand the number if times we've seen each other this year - and I'd only be using two fingers. Dawn didn't spend Christmas with us, and didn't even bother to give us her itinerary when she left the country. When I told her high school buddy this, she wasn't surprised in the slightest. "Don't worry," she stated mater of factly, "it will blow over."

Our encounter in the grocery store left me feeling hopeful, but in all honesty, it's difficult for me to keep the faith. I miss my daughter very much, but I do NOT miss the person she has turned into. As I said to Zondra when she remarked that she couldn't remember the last time spoke to Dawn, "Maybe you're better off. She will alienate you if you don't say what she wants to hear. The last time I heard her voice she was yelling disrespectfully at her father on the phone, and she isn't talking to me anymore."

"Don't worry," she repeated, "It will blow over."