Ready for the Tests

After receiving a graduate degree in counseling psychology, there was a final requirement to be met prior to taking the licensing exams. In order to register to take the tests, candidates must first provide evidence for three thousand face-to-face hours of counseling practice, which must also have been signed off under the supervision of a licensed therapist. After meeting that requirement, I would then be allowed to take two challenging examinations. One of them was written, multiple-choice, and electronic. The other was oral, given in a small group, panel type format, set in front of three licensing therapists. Thanks to my diligent efforts, and some excellent advising, I was set for success.

Throughout my academic study, and as a way to stay connected with my children as their mother, I had been volunteering my way through their elementary classrooms. Because I loved working with the students, and because it was also convenient, I received the needed face-to-face counseling hours as a paid counseling intern working within the school district. It fit perfectly into my life as a parent and an aspiring therapist. I loved that I could help out with my own children, while getting to know their classmates and friends, and I loved that I could remain involved in their lives. Meanwhile, I was fortunate to get paid a small hourly wage as a part time counselor at different schools, while I prepared to take the licensing examinations. It wasn't long before I had the counseling hours behind me. I felt ready to take the tests.

Unfortunately, as I began to prepare for the final licensing stage, something started to feel off. The condition that I remain emotionally objective towards my clients was causing an uneasy feeling to peek out from inside of me. What many people don't know about therapists is that it is against the law for them to have outside relationships with their clients. That meant I had to change a few aspects of my life. Under the law, I could no longer be social with some of my neighbors and other parents who might have been indirectly involved with a person I was counseling. It's called a "dual relationship," and it's illegal. I found myself withdrawing from or declining various events because of my vocation.

For this reason, it became difficult to maintain friendships with anyone who didn't practice counseling as a profession. I felt trapped inside a network of giving people who were providing an invaluable service to others. We were listening to problems day in and day out, and helping people overcome what were their seemingly insurmountable obstacles. At the same time we were not allowed to be friends with the people we were helping, and we were required to keep everything (including their triumphs) confidential. These were strong people who were struggling against the odds to improve their lives, and they were doing it. Suffice it to say that keeping them at arms length was not easy, and saying good-bye to them when they were at their best was emotionally draining.

Add to this the fact that all of these relationships which began in therapy always began with a depressing edge. I sat and listened to people discuss things that were psychologically disturbing. While many of the problems, at least for the children, were generic or social, other problems were bigger and deeper than any child should ever have to experience, and hearing all of these for over two year's time, instilled within me a cynical attitude towards daily life that I didn't like at all. I started to see the dark side of humanity in everything, and ultimately, it was that aspect of the counseling profession that caused me to decide to stop pursuing a license to practice.