EMDR # II

The second EMDR treatment was intense! I cried and cried and cried. I shook in my chair and I felt so much anxiety I thought I would explode. Maybe it was too much this time? I’m not sure. I had deep new insights. The most important one was that when I remembered the eyes of the dog coming towards Hardy and me, I perceived them to be coming at me. They weren’t focused on me. The eyes of that killer Pit Bull were focused on my sweet Hardy.

When my psychologist asked me why I thought the dog’s eyes were focused on me, I had to think about it for a bit. What I remember is that Hardy and I were walking down the street towards our home (Hardy on leash) and in a way he was an extension of me. So when the dog attacked Hardy, I thought, and felt, that it was attacking me too. Then when I lost my furry baby in the fight, I felt like it was a part of me that was lost. Even though my physical wounds were superficial, my psychological wound was bleeding profusely, and day-by-day in my mind it turned into a physical attack on me.

I was drained when I left my psychologist’s office. I didn’t take a med until I couldn’t sleep that night. I took a half a pill then, but I’ve learned that a quarter pill is better. I notice that I get a headache the next day when I take a half a pill, but a quarter of a pill is not as bad. I don’t get a headache; I don’t fall asleep, yet I do feel a major reduction in anxiety. That’s a good thing. I’ve finally figured out the dose so if I need to take it when I’m at work, I can, and I won’t pass out.

Roxie is living up to her therapy dog status, and Hardy would have LOVED her. He would have thought he was a hottie. He was always going (you know how) for the females in the dog park. This dog would have tickled his fancy. I would have had to command him, “Off!” She is really beautiful - if I do say so myself.

We have a new game we play. I try to get her to recognize her name. I made it up when I noticed that Roxie LOVES to run up the stairs. She bounds up them with no fear and plenty of joy. I decided to use this as a motivation to teach her to come to me by calling her name. I put Chico in a down-stay, and then I move erratically as I climb up the stairs (this makes her stay off the stairs until I get to the top). Once I’m at the top of the stairs, I call both of them by name, and they come running. Then I reward Chico first (saying his name), and Roxie second (saying her name). Now when I call her name she looks at me.

She got her first mini groom job today. I cut her beard a little, I combed out all of the knots, and I trimmed her legs and fake tail. She had strands of hair that were meant to replicate a tail, but it made reading her body language wrong. It always looked like she was tucking it down. Now we can see her lift it, and wag it. I believe it will help us, and other dogs, read her body language correctly. She is fitting into our family nicely. Like me, she seems to make a little progress daily.

Roxie's First Groom Job