The Morning After Christmas

This was the first holiday season without my daughter living under my wing. I say under my wing because she has lived away from home, but she is a grown woman now, living in San Francisco with a significant other. The association we once shared has taken several shifts, yet I still feel so very fortunate to have this magnificent woman in my life.  She is my only daughter, and my love for her is fierce. I can remember when she was born and I looked into her eyes for the first time, there was a sort of recognition. I recall thinking, she seems like she knows who I am. I can’t wait to get to know who she is. It felt like she was sending me her love directly to my heart. I knew then, as I continue to know now, she would always be a very special person to me. And I was correct.

I don’t want to get into any of the specifics, because it might diminish my daughter’s pure, unadulterated wish to give me the gift I wanted most. I simply want to note that last year’s celebrations were practically nonexistent for my children, my husband, and me. Suffice it to say that my mother, father, and sister have outcast my husband and myself from all family gatherings. In order for my children to be able to celebrate in any family festivities, my husband and I must bow out.

But now we are back from our road trip, and I had grown content to have a peaceful gathering in my home with my own children and their loved ones. I wished to spend most of the day with them, sitting around chatting, doing puzzles, playing video games, maybe going to a movie, hearing the sounds of our piano as they intermingled with the scent of the turkey and all the fixings… but she had other plans. The night before, knowing full well that there would be plenty of food and merrymaking to share, she set out to persuade my mother, father, and sister into coming to visit my home, as a surprise celebration. I can envision those beautiful baby brown eyes sparkling with delight as she concocted the thought, and gave everything she had into bringing it to pass.

Early yesterday evening she finally arrived at my house, cheerful, filled with holiday spirit, and even a little earlier than we had originally planned for an intimate family gathering. We shared a lovely visit, a delicious meal, the kindest sharing of gifts, and a brief drive around to view the holiday lights. Although she was not able to convince the others to join her, the potential was there. The time I spent with her went by quickly, but it was the best few hours I’ve had in a long time. She left us with the belief that someday we will again be included in the family. But more than that, she left me feeling more loved than I’ve felt in a very long time.