More Thoughts From San Juan Island

I woke up feeling poorly, but I was happier when I saw a message from my husband in my inbox. My daughter asked if there was an update from my mom and dad (extreme family drama), but there wasn't. It breaks my heart that they are so focused on dividing the family because it takes away from the support that I need. My sister is also not getting the support she needs because she's not being helped to moved on, she's being urged to fight. I'm more disappointed than ever about them. Now that I've had time to think about it, it sounds ludicrous for anyone to say that a family member of ours needs help - and that family member is not me.

I had a bad dream about going back to work last night. I dreamed there was a fire drill and I freaked out. I was in my classroom and it was all different. Everyone I talked with made me cry, even though I could tell they were trying hard not to make me cry. Colleagues kept coming into my classroom to talk to me, and then they'd leave because I would cry. I miss so many of them. I also had a flashback this morning. I can't even remember what triggered it. The good thing is that it was more painful than frightening, but the bad thing is that I had it in the first place.

Yesterday I saw a mini-schnauzer puppy at the Lavender Farm. It made me think that might be a good thing for me to try to move towards - getting a puppy, especially if I don't go back to work right away. Then I started thinking about how I would do that, and naturally, I thought about going to a shelter. Then I realized that it would be too scary to go into a shelter, and if I can't do that, maybe I'm not ready. Then I thought I have a good reason to get a mini-schnauzer from a breeder. Still not ready, but it's a thought, and not a scary one.

Later that evening we had dinner at a place in Roche Harbor called Madrona Bar & Grill. It was in celebration of my daughter's twenty-second birthday. She seemed to have a great time, but it was bitter sweet without the rest of the family. I was grateful that my brother's family celebrated with us. They have been such a support for me. I will never forget their kindness and generosity. The sunset was beautiful.

We also watched the patriotic flag ceremony while we were in Roche Harbor. There was a wedding outside in the garden and the wedding party came out to watch too. The bride wore a white dress with a blue sash. My daughter was inspired to wear the same thing, but perhaps with a purple or lavender sash. Here is her best friend, who will likely be her MOH - fun to figure out.

Hardy's Mom and the Crab Fisherman

The Restaurant at Sunset